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i have a deep fear of bugs. specifically gnats, flies, roaches, etc. generally, anything that scurries or flies fast and is gross. oddly enough, i'm not scared of centipedes or spiders or whatever else. like i won't go out of my way to kill those guys, but the moment there's a fly i go berserk.

i surely must look like a freak or a lunatic whenever there's a noseeum or some other obnoxious flying insect around me. i find them to be disgusting and whenever one touches me i gotta fight the urge to either throw up or shower immediately. my job revolves around me being outside, which makes it difficult for me to maintain composure whenever a fly gets trapped in my truck. eww eww eww.

don't even get me started on the invasive joro spiders. the worst thing ever to come out of japan in my humble opinion. this time of year they're still small, but they get fucking HUGE which makes them even more freaky to me. lord help me, they make these massive webs across open spaces (like sidewalks and porches). they also just fuckin hang out in the hundreds with their stupid mess of webs. unforunately, i find myself frequenting their favorite hangout spots.

as i said, im not really afraid of spiders, however joros are different because if i'm not watching where i'm going, i could end up face first in a web. they're not venomous and don't usually bite, so in theory i have no reason to flip out. however, my worst nightmare is delivering a package to someone's unkempt porch, and getting a face full of joro spiders in front of their stupid ass ring cameras. should that happen, i will surely kill myself from embarassment.

blegh! no thank you!

i find lately that i've been losing my creativity. it seems everything i draw needs to be perfectly lined and colored so that the paint stays confined. i find it harder and harder as the days go by to just paint something for fun. but that said, ive still been finding other ways to be creative.

today i went to my favorite book store, kinokuniya. its a manga store i adore with a huge selection of books in both english and japanese. they have the biggest library i've seen. i've been going back through my highschool faves, and after bingeing tokyo ghoul i wanted to pick up a copy or two of the manga. not that it really matters, i read it online, but i love having a physical copy of the manga to collect.

since i left most of my manga from highschool back home with the parents, my collection now is still very small, and hell manga is a lot more expensive than i recall. but! my collection grows steady. right now i'm collecting my favorite anime's manga. this includes blue exorcist, tamon's b-side, and kaiju number 8. i also picked up a second volume of "the guy she was interested in wasn't a guy at all" since i love a lil soft yuri. i've got bleach and death note back home somewhere...

i often buy manga cheaper from barns and noble, so sometimes i like to buy a few random copies for my collection. sometimes it makes it hard to keep track of what i already have, i've grabbed a duplicate once or twice now lmao.

but as it stands, i currently have blue exorcist 1-6,18-20, 28 & 30. yeah its a bit out of order i know, but like i said i read it online already. then i have tamon's b-side 1-10 since 11+ havent been released in english yet. i've got volumes 1 of kaiju no.8 and tokyo ghoul, to start those, and "tgswiiwagaa" 1 and 2. 20 bucks each for that one, but thankfully there isn't too much to collect yet, just missing book 3.

i've been thinking about maybe adding a manga section to my webmaster page to track the manga i've read. i still feel like its a bit bland on that page.

finally got around to setting up my blog page. it's been a couple of weeks since i last updated my website. and since i finally got things running as intended, i figured i'd take some time to yap about why i even made this website to begin with.

in truth, i just want a digital record of my life that isn't just flipping through some dead man's twitter page, or looking back at a deceased person's steam account. i want this website to be truely mine, and something that could stick around after i'm long gone. some proof that i was human once, with a life as valuable as the next guy's. it often doesn't feel valuable to me.

i've lived a long life in isolation. i distrust others, so i very rarely make friends. i've lived my whole life in a deep depression, even if others would describe me as happy or silly or outgoing. it's all fake. if i didn't have a job i love so much, i'd be a hikikomori. i'd rather stay inside, alone. my reality is pretty bleak.

i go to furry cons often enough, but i'm so tired of the culture that is furry. lately it's been getting worse, it seems like everything is superficial, they love the costume but they hate the person. and so with that, ive dedicated this website to serve as my truth, through my eyes, with my voice. here i speak without the echo chamber, the likes or the follows. it's just me on this island of the web here. a social castaway.

with that said, to those who may wash ashore upon my island, welcome to rev's dreamcast.